Change is a choice: the wisdom of Viktor Frankl

My observation is that we all tend to see others in monolithic ways, as if a person is some “thing” that is in a steady state: a jerk, a good guy, stubborn, flexible, angry, easy going. In my view, this is a trap. People evolve. Indeed, people can and do change dramatically and sometimes instantly. Hence, to anyone who has ever behaved unkindly toward me, I consistently let it go. I forget it as if it were water flowing by me. Of course, I stand my ground with dignity and respect against extreme behaviors like assaults but words or even unkind actions pass through my open hands. I refuse to hold them. I am committed to releasing all potential grudges, to have no grievances exist in me any more. It’s taken a long time to cultivate the quality of releasing all potential grievances instantly and always remaining completely open to the possibility that someone who has been repeatedly unkind can, at any time, evolve into kindness. This view makes forgiveness a meaningless word. Forgiveness requires an existing grievance. I’m committed to hold no grievances in the first place. Open hands. Relax and release. This isn’t something I expect from others toward my own past acts of unkindness. I understand why others may view me with grievances or hold grudges against me. The way of releasing all things is just something that liberates me to be open and compassionate and kind in the face of ANY person I encounter. Past actions are unchangeable. The human spirit is not. I choose change toward kindness and passionately release any semblance of grievance. I let go of it all instantly as it occurs so there is no grudge or grievance to hold. I choose every instant to be in a state of kindness. Do you want to join me?

Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment. By the same token, any human being has the freedom to change at any instant.